You can't discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore

Since December both Kenneth and I have known that we have wanted to get married. I knew late October, early November. Problem is engagement rings cost money. With a limited job, you can't really afford a ring. So since December him and I have been having discussions on how we want the wedding to look, who we want there, and things of the like. We have been thinking about my schooling, his law schooling, and my nursing path. We have had talks about what types of houses we want, where we want to live, children, how we are going to pay for things, and anything. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

We know the colors, the place, who we want there, and even a potential date. We know where we are going to live after, we know our honeymoon destination, and we have come up with an awesome idea for favors! We know we want a small wedding. Like uber small. Its not about the gifts people bring, it is about the fact that we love one another and we a very select few to share in our happiness. I think that tends to get lost somewhere along the way when couples get engaged. We have made sure that we keep our priorities on us. The focus to be on us.

We have been planning and thinking and knowing for so long that its crazy that the time has finally come to where it is almost time that we get engaged. Yes, I have a general idea on when its going to happen, but we are talking about month time spans, not weeks or days. Well, I'm thinking more and more about not even worrying about planning a wedding and just eloping. We both want a small wedding. What is smaller than a court house with our family? It would take away the stress of everything.

I know he will make every day that I live fun. I know I will be smiling from ear to ear. I know that he would provide for me, for us. I know that he loves my cooking. I know that he won't pressure me to do things I don't want to. I know that life is just better with him around me. I know that he loves me. I know that I love him!

You can't discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be where I am, I would have laughed. I will tell you that I did not go into this relationship expecting a turn-out like this. I wasn't even expecting this turn out even in September. Its amazing how things progress and where life leads. Never be scared to look beyond something.

Yea, so anyway, like my header says.. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I have that with Kenneth. We have the passion, but we also have the serious talks. The what if this happens. The where do we go from this point. The I don't know you pick topics. I have that with him.

I know I kept my relationships a secret ever since Graham and I ended things, and I know that people did not like Graham and I together. And our break-up was partially due to the negative hostility that we kept getting. Not only from our friends, but from my family. But most of it was due to me moving away. So that is where I learned to keep my feelings to myself, and not talk about this. But Kenneth and I are going on 10 months now. And I thought this was something that had to be shared.